Little Acts
by writinginmyjeans
Summary: "Okay. So, umm, what's the deal with you and Rachel and your smoking aunts?" Little acts of immaturity between the members of New Directions. DIALOGUES ONLY. C5 up! Finchel with a hint of Kurt.
1. Little Acts of Immaturity

"C'mon, Rachel! You can't possibly be mad at me for teaching Jesse St. Jerkface a lesson!"

"You dumped a bucket full of soda all over him before throwing flour at him, Finn!"

"He deserved it!"

"While I do agree that that jerk deserves being punished for what he did, you know I do not condone the little acts of immaturity that you and Puck carry out."

"Huh?"

"I do not approve of what you did to Jesse."

"Really? Then why were you laughing along with the others when Puck added a cherry on top of St. Jerkface's head?"

"I was not! It was not funny, Finn! Nobody was laughing!"

"Was too! The other glee clubbers were laughing and admit it, Rachel Berry, you were too."

"I do not amuse myself at the expense of others, Finn."

"Oh yeah? Then why did you 'accidentally' trip the girl St. Jerkface was with so that she'd fall flat onto the ground and then 'accidentally' pushed Artie's wheelchair too hard so that the remaining soda in the bucket on Artie's lap would spill all over her?"

"I have no idea about what you're talking about, Finn Hudson."

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**A/N: PLease Review! :)**


	2. Who's Being Immature Now?

**A/n: Hey guys! I actually intended for this story to be a oneshot but I've decided to add on anything else when I'm free. In this fanfiction, the chapters are all oneshots and they'll be set at certain times. While I patiently wait for the next episode of Glee in pure torture, this is what I've resorted to. Hope you guys enjoy this!**

**Timeline: Set after 'Journey'.

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"Finn?"

"Yeah, Rach?"

"I love you too."

"Thank you, Rachel."

"Finn?"

"Yeah?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Rachel."

"We promised not to lie to each other, remember?"

"Rachel, nothing's wrong."

"Don't make me start talking about my early life."

"Your early life actually kinda interests me right now."

"Oh. Okay. Well, I was twelve when I first got my period. I still remember seeing that little red – "

"Alright! Alright! You didn't say it back right away."

"What?"

"You didn't say you loved me back straight away."

"Is that what has been bothering you for the past two days?"

"Well, yeah."

"Finn, we were about to sing when you told me."

"Well, what about after that?"

"I was thinking of the right time to say it."

"And you think now is the right time because?"

"Because we're alone?"

"We're stuck in the janitor's closet after school with no one else around and you think now is the right time to tell me?"

"Well, we're not exactly alone."

"Excuse me?"

"There may be a slight chance that the other Glee club members are present in the room next to ours."

"Did you… Did you set this whole thing up?"

"N-No."

"You are a terrible liar."

"Well, what else did you expect me to do? You avoided me in the hallways, you were distant during glee rehearsals and you maneuvered either Puck, Matt, Mike, Kurt or Artie in front of you every time I gave you the slightest of a hint that we needed to talk."

"Rachel?"

"What?"

"I'm sorry I upset you but I really didn't catch half of what you said."

"I said that this 'locking us in the closet' thing was completely necessary because I wanted to resolve all the tension between us."

"O…kay. Look who's being immature now."

"I am not being immature. I am trying to save a relationship with the boy I love."

"It'll never get old hearing you say that."

"Finn, do you still love me?"

"What? Of course I do."

"Well, you didn't say it back right away."

"I love you, Rachel Berry."

"I love you too, Finn Hudson."

"Now that we've kissed and made up, can we please get out of here?"

"Sure. Just let me call Kurt."

"Okay."

"Hey, Kurt. You can unlock us now."

"…"

"WHAT?"

"What is he saying?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST THE KEY TO THE JANITOR'S CLOSET?"

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**A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed this! Please Review! **


	3. Pick Up Lines

**A/N: Here's a Puck and Quinn oneshot to all you people who love the idea of them being together. I know I sure do!

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"Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me tonight?"

"…"

"Baby?"

"Did you seriously just say you lost your teddy bear?"

"Shit. No."

"Yes, you did!"

"Stop smiling! It was a stupid pick-up line!"

"That made you admit to having a teddy bear!"

"I don't have a teddy bear!"

"Hah!"

"I really don't!"

"Yeah, I really believe you. Why are you using pick-up lines anyway?"

"C'mon, Quinn. All those curves on you and me with no brakes. What do you say?"

"If I did, would you give me the directions to your heart?"

"Oh, baby. You don't need the keys to drive me carzy."

"Honey, I hope you know CPR because you took my breath away."

"Nice! Wow, babe."

"What?"

"I think I'm gonna need a map. I keep getting lost in your beautiful eyes."

"Is it hot in here or is it just you?"

"It's just me. You look a lot like my future wife."

"Really?"

"What? N-no?"

"Puck?"

"Y-yeah?"

"Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back."

"It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me."

"I love you."

"I love you too. Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?"

"Way to ruin the moment, you perv."

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**A/N: Hahahaha! I totally enjoyed writing this! Hope you guys enjoyed reading it! Below are a few corny pick-up lines that I found myself really laughing at. Please review!**

_I'm good at math, U+I=69_

_What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?_

_**Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.**_

_**If you were the last woman and I were the last man on earth, we could do it in public.**_

_**You're so hot, you must be real reason for global warming.  
**__  
__**You look a lot like my next girlfriend**__**  
**_


	4. Quotes

"C'mon guys! It is courage, faith, endurance and a dogged determination to surmount all obstacles that built this bridge."

"I swear if Mr. Schue says another quote, I am going to blow up!"

"Determination is the wake-up call to the human will."

"Gah!"

"Finn! Stop your girlfriend! We can't win regionals with Mr. Schue in the hospital and our star singer in jail!"

"Rachel!"

"Let me go, Finn Hudson, or I swear I will annihilate you!"

"I actually feel lucky that I have no idea what the big word you used meant. I'm hoping it has something to do with your lips on mine."

"Okay, that is just gross."

"Shut up, Kurt."

"No, Quinn, don't cry and let the stress get to you! When the world says, "Give up,"  
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time." Do not give up, Quinn!"

"Somebody hold the pregnant woman away from Mr. Schue too!"

"Let me go, you two! Puck, I swear you're sleeping on the couch tonight and Mercedes, you are so not my best friend anymore!"

"Quinn, baby, you need to calm down. It's not good for our little girl."

"SHUT UP, PUCK!"

"Guys! Vocal Adrenaline id getting ahead of us! We need to step up our game! You people are not focusing enough. Determination and perseverance is what draws success nearer to us!"

"Alright, you know what? I've had enough of these quotes. The only one really practicing is Britney and that's because she's forgotten Mr. Schuester is our glee club teacher and thinks he's her aerobics teacher or something. You two, release them."

"Kurt, are you sure?"

"Positive."

…

"C'mon now girls. Violence is not the answer. The drops of rain make a hole in the stone not by violence but by oft falling."

"WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT UP!"

"HELP!"

"KURT! We have to stop them."

"Nah, this is actually pretty satisfying and amusing to watch. Listen, Mr. Schue's screaming like a girl at you guys."

"FINN, PUCK! CONTROL YOUR GIRLS!"  


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** A/N: I realise that this sounds absolutely ridiculous but it was very fun to write! Please review and let me know if you want more of this silliness... :D Review!**


	5. Smoking aunts?

**A/N: This is on issues relating to smoking... It doesn't exactly touch on it but it does contain Finchel fluff and a little of Kurt! :)**

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"Please tell me you aren't serious."

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. What's it to you?"

"Finn, you smell like my Aunt May!"

"Am I supposed to know if that's a good or bad thing?"

"She smokes at least fifteen times a day and smells like a chimney that has just been lit. All. The. Time."

"And the drama queen strikes again. Geez, Kurt, it's only one cigarette."

"For now. Pretty soon, you're going to be smoking one every minute!"

"Seriously, dramatic much?"

"Finn, why are you even – "

"I had to, okay? The guys on the team would have given me a hard time if I hadn't!"

"I thought you were over them pushing you around? Wait, did Noah, Mike and Matt try too?"

"They're on the team, aren't they?"

"I cannot believe you guys!"

"You know what, Kurt? I've had enough of this. I'm going to Puck's."

"Why? So you guys can light more puffs?"

"So what if I do?"

"Unbelievable!"

SLAM!

"Pick up. Please pick up! Oh thank god! Rachel?"

"Kurt? Why are you calling me? Is it Finn? Is he okay?"

"Calm down, girlie. There's no need to get your panties in a twist. I just need your help with something."

"I am not helping you redecorate your room for the third time, Kurt."

"Hey! It's not my fault your boyfriend's choosy! Anyway, this is way more serious."

"I am not having another diva-off with you either."

"As much as I want to finally be able to prove to you that I actually can hit a high F, this is definitely more serious."

"You have finally caught my attention. What's going on?"

"I just need you to knock some sense into our favourite boy."

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_Three days later…_

"Rachel?"

"Hmm?"

"Is there a reason you won't kiss me?"

"N-no?"

"You're a horrible liar."

"As opposed to you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"We promised not to lie and keep things from each other right?"

"Yeah?"

"So you want to tell me why you and Kurt cannot stay in the same room without glaring daggers at each other? Or why you smell like you smell like my great aunt Mauriel?"

"Who?"

"My great aunt Mauriel. She smokes at least one pack of cigarettes per day. That's 20 sticks per day!"

"And let me guess. She smells like a chimney?"

"Exactly!"

"Kurt told you, didn't he?"

"N-no?"

"I'm going to kill him."

"I would have found out eventually, Finn. What, did you think that when you kissed me, I wouldn't be able to smell it on you?"

"…"

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? The other guys were trying an – "

"And so you had to try it too? When are you realise that they are the losers, not you?"

"You know I know that, Rachel."

"Do you? Then why do you still smell like smoke?"

"Look, don't tell anyone but the other guys are still smoking them, alright? I mean, I can't not smell after being with them."

"Please, Finn, promise me you're still not smoking either."

"I promise I'm not smoking any more, okay? I did some research the other day and it scared me shitless, alright?"

"What do you mean?"

"Smoking can bring lung cancer. Did you know that, Rach?"

"Yeah, I do."

"I don't… I just don't want to have the time I spend with you shortened, okay? You're the reason I stopped."

"That's really sweet of you. I love you."

"I love you too. Now, can I have my kiss?"

"Sorry, you still stink. Maybe after you shower and get off the stench of smoke and stop irking me out."

"What?"

"Just go take a shower, Finn."

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"Hey, Kurt?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry about the other day."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay. So, umm, what's the deal with you and Rachel and your smoking aunts?"

"You try having them kiss you on the lips each Christmas without giving you a splitting headache! That woman just grabs my head and bumps it against hers! It's like kissing a smoking chimney."

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**A/N: Please review and tell me what you think! Is this a hit or miss?**


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